Running… That oh-so-glorified pastime that seems to have captivated the hearts of the world. Want to get healthy? Run! Want to lose weight? Run! Want to flee the scene of the crime? Run! Yes, running has many uses, and seems to be a reason for otherwise miserable middle-aged adults to have something to look forward to in what would otherwise be a fairly mundane existence. "At least we ran that half marathon though, amirite??" Still, The Bearded Man cautions that there are distinct times in which, to put it colloquially, running just ain’t right. Case #1: When fleeing the scene of your crime, an automobile, batmobile, or helicopter would make for a better getaway. Case #2: When choking on smog in one of the planet’s many, severely over-polluted metropolitan areas. Case #3: When someone asks if you’re refrigerator is running, you had better say “no”. And last but not least, Case #4: Running absolutely, positively, without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt ain’t right when it’s for president of the United States.
